Dealing with our Grief...
Our pets live relatively short lives. For many of us who love our pets, their death can affect some of us even more than the death of a relative or friend. The death of a pet leaves few people totally untouched.

A pet may come to symbolize many things to each of us. It may represent a child, perhaps a child yet to be conceived or the innocent child in us all. It may reflect the ideal mate or parent, ever faithful, patient and welcoming, loving us unconditionally. It is a playmate and a sibling. It is a reflection of ourselves, embodying negative and positive qualities we recognize or lack in ourselves. The same pet may be all of these, alternating between roles on any given day or for each member of the family.

When a pet dies, we expect that our pain will be acknowledged, even if it is not shared, by our relatives, friends and colleagues. Though the bond between you and your pet is as valuable as any of your human relationships, the importance of its loss may not be appreciated by other people. The process of grieving for a pet is no different than mourning the death of a human being. The difference lies in the value that is placed on your pet by your family and by society as a whole.
To every thing there is a season,
and a time to every purpose under the heaven: a time to be born and a time to die.
-Eccles. 3:1
Your grief may be compounded by lack of response from a friend or family member. Realize that you do not need anyone else's approval to mourn the loss of your pet, nor must you justify your feelings to anyone. Do not fault anyone who cannot appreciate the depth of your grief for a pet. The joy found in the companionship of a pet is a blessing not given to everyone.

Seek validation for your pain from people who will understand you. Speak with your veterinarian, a veterinary technician, groomer or another pet owner. Ask for a referral to pet grief support groups or veterinary bereavement counselors in your area. The death of a pet can revive painful memories and unresolved conflicts from the past that amplify your current emotional upheaval. Seek comfort in the support of professional counselors or clergy.

This is an opportunity for emotional growth. Your life was and will continue to be brighter because of the time that you shared with your pet. This is the best testament to the value of your pet's existence.
You can expect to feel one or more of the following emotions during the grieving process:

Guilt – You may feel like you should have done more. Try to put aside feelings of guilt and know you did your best.

Denial – Some pet owners feel the need to get rid of anything related to the pet. For others, they feel getting rid of things is disloyal.

Anger – You may feel angry toward those involved somehow in the loss, such as family members, your veterinarian, even God.

Depression – You may find yourself feeling overwhelmingly sad, and disinterested in daily activities. Seek professional help if your depression continues.

Acceptance – Eventually, at your own pace, you will accept your pet loss. This is not to say that it will not hurt anymore, but you will accept the reality of the loss.
HOW TO SUPPORT A FRIEND IN GRIEF

  • As soon as you learn of the loss, get in touch; it is never too late to offer concern and support.
  • Silence is OK. There is comfort in quiet company.
  • Instead of cliches that might minimize the loss, simply say "I'm sorry" or "How can I help." It is helpful to talk openly about the loss.
  • Be accepting of your friend's feelings, whatever they may be.
  • Try not to be upset or uncomfortable if your friend cries. Remember that tears can be healing.
  • Don't be afraid to offer a hug to your friend.
  • Try to plan activities you can do together. If one offer is declined, don't be hurt and don't give up.
  • Be patient; grief is an individual process and resolution comes at different times for different people.
  • Remember your friend on special days such as birthdays and holidays, as well as the anniversary date of the loss, times when the loss will be more acutely felt.
Five steps through Grief...